Why I Stopped Writing — And Why I’m Back

It’s been more than a year since I last wrote something here.
I didn’t plan to take a break. I didn’t even realize I was taking one — it just happened.
Life got bigger, faster, and noisier. Somewhere in between lectures, projects, late-night debugging sessions, and everything else, the habit of writing quietly slipped away.

I used to think that pausing meant failing.
But it turns out, sometimes stepping back is just another form of learning.

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The truth is — I had a lot to take in

I was overwhelmed — not emotionally, but mentally.
There was just so much to learn, so much to understand. I was deep into my studies, especially in my final year of Computer Science. I was exploring advanced concepts, cool new tools, attending events, building things — and somewhere inside, I convinced myself that writing was taking time away from all that learning.

It felt like I had to choose between writing about the world and actually living in it.
So I chose to live and learn for a while.

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Why I stopped writing

There wasn’t one big reason — more like a combination of small ones that added up.

1. I wasn’t seeing the growth I expected

No matter how much we like to say we’re doing it “for ourselves,” there’s always a part of us that looks for validation.
When I started this blog, it felt exciting. I was passionate, consistent, and full of ideas.
But over time, I began checking metrics, wondering who was reading, comparing, and questioning whether what I wrote even mattered. The joy started turning into a chase.

2. Perfectionism

I’ve always wanted my posts to feel complete — something I could be proud of.
That’s not a bad thing, but it came with a cost. I’d spend hours editing small details, second-guessing every paragraph, and often abandoning a draft because it didn’t “feel ready.”
Ironically, that perfectionism kept me from sharing anything at all.

3. Life and priorities

The last 14 months were intense.
My journal knows the details — the ups, the chaos, the small victories, and the moments of silence.
I was finishing my degree, balancing deadlines, and just trying to absorb everything happening around me. I didn’t have the energy to produce something polished enough for others to read, even though I never stopped writing privately.

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What I was doing while I was away

I graduated in May with my Bachelor’s in Computer Science — a little later than I planned, but still a huge milestone.
And after that… the real world hit. Hard.

The job market was — well, let’s just say “interesting.” I quickly realized how brutal it really is out there.
But in that chaos, I found freedom too.

Over the last few months, I’ve done things I never thought I would:
I attended multiple AI events at the Amazon event center in San Francisco, joined a hackathon at Modular HQ, and participated in Snowflake workshops and online sessions.
SF has this crazy energy for software engineers, and I finally got to feel it — meet amazing people, have deep conversations, and learn by just being around curious minds.

Looking back, I wish I’d done this earlier in college. But I’m grateful I got to experience it now.

Why I’m back

After all that — after the learning, the silence, and the small adventures — I finally feel ready again.
Not because I have everything figured out, but because I don’t.
Writing has always been how I make sense of things, and I miss that.

I’m not planning to post every week or follow a schedule. I’ll write when I have something real to say.
Sometimes it’ll be technical — algorithms, systems, or software concepts that fascinate me.
Other times, it’ll just be reflections like this one.

Over the years, people from all over — the U.S., Australia, Nepal, India, and even China — have read my algorithm blogs. I still remember the sudden surge of readers from China on my Branch and Bound Algorithm post. That moment reminded me that words travel further than we think, and curiosity connects people in the most unexpected ways.

So yes — I’ll keep writing about what excites me.
Not for metrics. Not for perfection. But because I love learning and sharing what I learn.

Moving forward

I’m back — not as frequently, but with more intention.
If you enjoy tech, systems, or just honest thoughts about learning and building, I hope you’ll stick around.
I’ll be sharing new posts here and on my Instagram whenever something new goes live.

Writing has always been my way of connecting — both with others and with myself.
So here’s to new beginnings, unfinished drafts, messy ideas, and the quiet joy of creating something again.

Thanks for still being here.
— Sulav